Define what it means to be a mother (then drink more coffee)

One of the initial requirements to guarantee you qualify as an uber mummy is children. I currently have 5. Yes, I know, usually the first question people ask is "don't you have TV?" We do have tv but I'm blaming Broadcasting New Zealand for not putting on enough stuff that's worth watching... of course they're really fantastic at putting all the best stuff on at exactly the same time but on 3 different channels. Having 5 children and the Man means I no longer have a life of my own - I'm simply an accessory of theirs. Years ago when the Sperm Donor was still on the scene I had 3 under 3 and him to deal with. When we got married his mother said "I hope I'm not the reason you break up" and even though having her cut all the lace out of my lingerie as it hung on the line drying sounds like a damn fine reason in retrospect, it was the fact that he was doing the nasty with his younger sister that really bought my freedom. Life, of course, was a hell of a lot easier after that. Next time I was blinded by hormones I was confronted by The Man calmly telling everyone how he'd had his lower ribs removed (like a infamous singer who will remain nameless) so he could... Yes, well, love is blind and stupid and to blame for many things. Enough said.

Regardless, that brings me to the present where I wake to find myself the mother of 3 teenage girls, a 7 year old son, The Man and a son named after a movie character simply because in said movie his mother was an angel and his father was the devil...
When I was growing up I could never imagine myself being a mother - I was far too flaky, could barely look after myself and was physically repulsive to all members of the opposite sex. My, how times change. As I look back I see friends that I grew up with and very few seemed like mummy/daddy material to my expert eye... I was a teenager and I had parents of my own so of course that qualified me as an expert right? Of course now I'm older I realise that I know less than I did then and now my children know it all - this, in essence is what it means to be a mother.